So Over John and Jen Breakup Theories

People need to accept that John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston were just never really together

By Ted Casablanca Mar 24, 2009 10:02 PMTags
Jennifer Aniston, John MayerKevin Mazur/VF/Getty Images

So what's the latest rumor heading up the John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston shocking split? That damn Twitter habit of his.

According to a "friend" of Jen's, she was "infuriated" that John would say he was too busy to call her over in Europe, yet he, "found time to update his Twitter page."

Oh, come on, people.

Mayer's addiction is hardly the cause of their breakup. We're sure those speedy fingers of his were a plus. We'd be much more entertained if one of these ridiculous reasons were to blame:

  1. Jen couldn't be controlled in the bedroom.
  2. John got arthritis from being forced to play on the Angelina dartboard.
  3. Jen got drunk and barfed all over John's fave guitar.

Seriously, folks, if you're going to manufacture breakup stories, let's get creative and naughty here. Why can't people just accept that a relationship will never workout if it's not real to begin with? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out Mayerston was never for keeps.